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Dec 18, 2009, 12:19am




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Result 1 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Deathbed (Read 2 times)
fsd95e
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 Deathbed
« Result #1 on Mar 11, 2009, 10:06pm »
[Quote]


Jake was on his deathbed while his wife, Becky, maintained a steady vigil by his side. As she held his fragile hand, her warm tears ran silently down her face, splashed onto his, and roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale lips began to quiver with sound.

"My darling Becky," he whispered.

"Hush, my love," she said. "Go back to sleep Shhh! Don't talk."

But he was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice. "I have to talk. I have something I must confess to you."

"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky. "It's all right. Everything's all right, go to sleep now."

"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I slept with your sister, your best friend and our next door neighbor."

Becky mustered a pained smile and stroked his hand. "Hush now Jake, don't torment yourself. I know all about it," she said. "Why do you think I poisoned you?"

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Result 2 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Great Female Combacks (Read 1 time)
56f5hd5
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 Great Female Combacks
« Result #2 on Mar 11, 2009, 10:05pm »
[Quote]


Man "Haven't we met before?"
Woman "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man "Is this seat empty?"
Woman "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man "Your place or mine?"
Woman "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman "It's in the phone book."

Man "But I don't know your name."
Woman "That's in the phone book too."

Man "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman "I'm a female impersonator."

Man "What sign were you born under?"
Woman "No Parking."

Man "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman "Do not Enter"

Man "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman "Unfertilized"

Man "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man "I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
Woman "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

Man "I know how to please a woman."
Woman "Then please leave me alone."

Man "I want to give myself to you."
Woman "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man "I can tell that you want me."
Woman "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

Man "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Woman "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

Man "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

Man "Your body is like a temple."
Woman "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman "Yes, but would you stay there?


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Result 3 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: An Urgent Standby Passenger (Read 2 times)
5g8d8158
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 An Urgent Standby Passenger
« Result #3 on Mar 11, 2009, 10:05pm »
[Quote]


While in Korea, Gov. Mike Smith of Utah was relaxing in the VIP lounge the Seoul airport, awaiting his flight to Japan. At the same moment , his press secretary, Jenny Varela, was being told at the ticket counter that she had no ticket.


¡¡¡¡After insisting she had to make the flight because she was with a U. S. governor, an American embassy aide intervened. Varela got a standby ticket and boarded just before take-off.


¡¡¡¡Regaining her composure, Varela went to the front of the plane to tell Smith of her adventure. He was not there. She later found out that the governor was told that he had been bumped by an urgent standby passenger.It was Varela.

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Result 4 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: Nude Tan (Read 1 time)
df2s65e
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 Nude Tan
« Result #4 on Mar 11, 2009, 10:05pm »
[Quote]


A rather well built woman, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation time sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. The first day she sunbathed, she wore a red bathing suit. However on the second day, she felt a little more adventurous. She slipped out of it in order to get an overall tan figuring that no one could see her way up there. She'd hardly began when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said a flustered little (out of breath) assistant manager of the hotel. "The Hilton doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday!"

"What difference does it make", Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here on the roof and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"With all due respect, not exactly ma'am," said the embarrassed little man. "You are lying on the dining room skylight."

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Result 5 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: These Things I Wish for You (Read 1 time)
asln2009
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 These Things I Wish for You
« Result #5 on Feb 23, 2009, 8:58pm »
[Quote]


We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.
For my grandchildren, I¡¯d know better.

I¡¯d really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and home-made ice cream and leftover meatloaf. I really would.

My cherished grandson,wow power leveling I hope you learn humility by surviving failure and that you learn to be honest even when no one is looking.

I hope you learn to make your bed and mow the lawn and wash the car -- and I hope nobody gives you a brand-new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see a baby calf born, and you have a good friend to be with you if you ever have to put your old dog to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother.wow power leveling And it is all right to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he¡¯s scared, I hope you¡¯ll let him.

And when you want to see a Disney movie and your kid brother wants to tag along, I hope you take him.

I hope you have to walk uphill with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

If you want a slingshot,wow power leveling I hope your father teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books, and when you learn to use computers, you also learn how to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get razzed by friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and that when you talk back to your mother you learn what Ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain,wow gold burn your hand on the stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I hope you get sick when someone blows smoke in your face. I don¡¯t care if you try beer once, but I hope you won¡¯t like it.wow gold And if a friend offers you a joint or any drugs, I hope you are smart enough to realize that person is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your grandpa or go fishing with your uncle.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through a neighbor¡¯s window,wow gold and that she hugs you and kisses you when you give her a plaster of paris mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you -- tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness.
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Result 6 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: The Easter Bunny (Read 1 time)
asln2009
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 The Easter Bunny
« Result #6 on Feb 23, 2009, 8:57pm »
[Quote]


When I was a little girl, every Sunday my family of six would put on their best clothes and go to Sunday School and then church. The kids in elementary school would all meet together to sing songs, and then later divide into groups based on their ages.

One Easter Sunday,wow power leveling all the kids arrived with big eyes and big stories about what the Easter Bunny had brought. While all of the kids shared their stories with delight, one young boy, whom I will call Bobby, sat sullenly. One of the teachers, noticing this, said to him, wow gold "And what did the Easter Bunny bring you?" He replied, "My mom locked the door on accident so the Easter Bunny couldn't get inside."

This sounded like a reasonable idea to all of us kids,wow power leveling so we kept on going with the stories. My mom knew the true story, though. Bobby's mom was a single parent, and she suspected that they just couldn't afford the Easter Bunny.

After Sunday School was over, everyone went off to church. When my dad came to meet us my mom announced that we were going home instead. At home, wow power leveling she explained that to make Bobby feel better, we were going to pretend to be the Easter Bunny and make a basket of goodies for him and leave it at church. We all donated some of our candies to the basket, and headed back up to church. There,wow gold mom unzipped his coat, hung the basket over the hanger, and zipped up the coat and attached a note.

Dear Bobby,
I'm sorry I missed your house last night.wow gold Happy Easter.
Love,
The Easter Bunny
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Result 7 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: wow power leveling-welcome to our webpage! (Read 10 times)
lkwseq
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 wow power leveling-welcome to our webpage!
« Result #7 on Mar 17, 2008, 4:37am »
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Result 8 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: wow power leveling-welcome to our webpage! (Read 14 times)
lkwseq
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« Result #8 on Mar 17, 2008, 4:36am »
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Result 9 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: wow gold What ? (Read 2 times)
rddlob
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« Result #9 on Mar 17, 2008, 3:57am »
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Result 10 of 10:
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 AuthorTopic: wow gold What ? (Read 4 times)
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